i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
