I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
