Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
