Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
