Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
