there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
