Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
