420 ftw
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
