He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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