So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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