Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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