my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Barsexuality is the new black.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
