My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
