Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
