May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
