I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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