I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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