im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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