I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
