I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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