So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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