i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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