we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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