I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
