4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
