Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
