Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
