So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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