Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Pants are for mortals
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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