im about as happy as oj after his trial
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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