I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
