i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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