At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
