For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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