How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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