Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
