Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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