So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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