Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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