i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
