I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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