it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
