Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Randomize
