so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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