She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
