I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
When are your genitals available?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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