thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
