I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
