She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
