Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
